With choices not given
I have no choice but
To trust you with my life
Because you are all I have left.
So please help me.
Life has a funny way of giving you a kick up the backside, doesn’t it? Usually when you need it the most, and life fairly gave me a right kick up the backside.
I sit here at this time breastfeeding my daughter, my beautiful daughter and I wonder if this was something that fate intended for many since this has happened to many around the world.
Many are now mothers and many others are now daughters, others are on their way rapidly to becoming one of both as I speak. How exactly is this possible you ask? I’m no scientist so I don’t exactly know how to explain it other than it has been caused by a virus, a virus that infects people in one of two ways.
One way causes the infected person to become younger, if that person is male then for some reason the male sex is effectively rewritten and replaced with the female sex, this doesn’t happen to any females who are infected.
So as you can imagine how someone who is a male to female trans-gendered person would feel if infected with the virus, jumping for joy would be an understatement. Of course for those who are female to male this is a crushing blow and sadly many who are born that way have ended their lives because they couldn’t cope with being forced to be female without any chance of the surgery due to how the virus overrides testosterone treatments.
The other thing it does is that it creates a bond between that person and one other, creating a kind of mother and child bond where that virus bonded mother is the only one who can truly care for their new child, this bond is important if the person who is getting younger is to have an even regression where the mind doesn’t regress too quickly while the body is physically returning to a very young age.
Any males who become a virus bonded mother also become female in full.
So as you can imagine there have been a lot of changes for many and the future of the human race is in doubt because the male half of the human species is rapidly disappearing, there are at this current time only fifty five males still existing around the planet and that number is expected to become zero in less than a month.
No one knows where this virus has come from, no one knows if it has been created by humanity or by nature, all that is known is that it works fast and the full extent of the changes are currently unknown.
The best minds, who are all mostly female by now, are trying to understand what the virus is doing as a whole and why it is turning the human race into fully female but the work is slow going and they have their own virus bonded children to care for.
The future is uncertain.
My name is Reina Harit Beaumont, I am 33 years old as of this recording and I am a virus bonded mother. This is my story and how tacky does that sound? Seriously, couldn’t I have come up with something better?
Not so hard, sweetie, my nipples aren’t invincible.
Two months earlier:
Should you be someone born close to the ocean and familiar with fish markets and fish factories, then the scent of fish is one you likely know by heart. Even if you hate the smell itself and can’t stand fish, it isn’t one you forget easily.
The air is filled with that smell and as the fish is being shipped into the factory, the gulls above are screaming loudly in their non-stop quest for food and to crap on people’s newly washed cars for the fun of it. People go to and fro in their work, fork lifts and trucks come and go.
All in all a typical day for a fish factory.
“Bloody useless piece of junk!” As is that. A hand lashes out and smacks the machine hard. “WORK YOU BLOODY USELESS BASTARD!” The conveyer belt groans, shudders and kicks back into operation again, it’s daily tantrum done for the day.
Dead fish move along in their version of already death row and those working at the conveyer work quickly to examine the fish, slice it open and move it along to shipping boxes for farther processing.
The job isn’t glamorous but it’s a job, so better than nothing.
“Hitting it doesn’t help, Reina, kicking it might or smacking it hard with a sledge hammer, but not hitting it with your fist” Reina Beaumont, 33 years old, looks up briefly while still focused on her work.
“Perhaps, but the bugger keeps asking for it. Any word on when this git of a thing is going to get looked at?” Her co-worker shrugs as she works.
“All I was told was that it would be looked at when they get the time, that was a week ago” Reina scoffs since she knew that if maintenance said they were going to take a look at it soon, that they were really going to look at it whenever they could be bothered. The new maintenance crew were useless and usually had to be reminded several dozen times before they actually got any work done.
“So have you been hearing about this virus that’s spreading around?” Her co-worker asks after several minutes, Reina nods, she had been watching the news and was surprised at the news.
A non-deadly virus actually making it to the news, that was a surprise in itself due to the media’s love of drama and spreading fear, but the effects of the virus were very surprising.
“Aye, I saw more on it last night. An entire family line was recently infected and all the men in that family line are becoming women, some of them turning into children. There was some guy saying it was created by women as a plot to take over America, I guess that guy hasn’t being paying much attention to the news since the virus is all over the world. I heard a few people locally have come down with it” A loud sound can be heard over the sounds of the work floor, lunch time.
“Finally” Finishing off their work, the two women head for the cafeteria once done, greeting their fellow co-workers, friends and such on the way.
“Better not be that pea soup we had yesterday, stuff looks like someone sneezed into a bowl” Someone remarks.
“They probably did, saves on money and actual cooking” Reina retorts as they enter the cafeteria and line up, trays in hand. After picking her lunch, Reina heads over a table and sits down next to a man she hasn’t met before, someone new most likely.
“Anyone sitting here?” She asks as she sits down, the man looks over to her, he looks to be in his early twenties or maybe younger, around college age.
“Nope, go ahead” Reina thanks him before she starts eating. “Andrew” Reina looks over to the man.
“Hmm?” She asks, half of a cereal bar in her mouth.
“My name, it’s Andrew” Reina shrugs and looks away.
“Oh, not interested, sorry if that sounds harsh. You must be new here, I’m sure you’ll make friends with others” Despite her harshness though, Andrew just smiles and extends a hand.
“Nice to meet you then” Reina looks at the hand as if it’s diseased.
“I’m not interested, really, and I’m older than you. I was hitting the teen hell years when you were suckling on your mum’s tit” This doesn’t deter Andrew however.
“I’m not looking for a girlfriend or any of that, just saying hi” With a sigh, Reina reaches over with one hand and shakes Andrew’s extended hand.
“American by the sounds of it, what brings you to our slice of hell?” Shaking her hand firmly but gently, Andrew smiles again before returning to his food.
“Mom used to talk about her childhood here, I wanted to see it for myself. I arrived a week ago and got a job here, that was just before I found out that my parents were infected with that virus. Now my dad’s on the way to diaper city and my mom’s going the same way, my sister’s aren’t happy about becoming their bonded mothers. Mom told me to stay here instead of heading back home in case the virus gets me as well at a bad time on the way back. Look, I’m not trying to hit on you, I’m just being friendly” Looking over to him, Reina sighs again.
“I know you are, but the last time some male got friendly with me I ended up with a lot of sorrow and a lot of heartache that I am having a very hard time living with to this day. I don’t mind that you’re being friendly, it’s good to see, but I don’t exactly like men all that much after what happened. I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I’m really not the best person to speak to” Andrew looks down at this food for a moment, then nods and says nothing else.
Around five minutes pass then Andrew starts to groan, Reina looks over to him just as a few others start to grown, then the sound of something like baby babble can be heard.
“You have got to be kidding me, here of all places” As others watch unsure what to do, Andrew and the others who started groaning begin to show infantile behaviours – the virus had gotten to them.
An hour after the virus had hit, Reina scowls and winces as the needle is pulled away from her arm after an emergency medical team has arrived to help those who were infected. The usual blood extractions were performed in order to test the blood of those who weren’t acting in such an infantile manner while the baby minded adults were being looked after.
“All done” The nurse remarks as she labels the blood sample.
“If that test comes back positive for the virus, then I blame the fish that looked like that shellfish like creature from a cartoon I watched years ago” The nurse smiles, she knew of the creature.
“Poor guy, he always gets the blame for things. You’ll be notified of the results as soon as possible, with the way the virus is hitting then all the labs are working over time” Reina dabs at her arm and sees that the blood has stopped at a thankfully quick pace.
The blood tests were mandatory for everyone, especially at a place where the virus had hit. While most results were negative for the time being, many turned out to be positive and those who didn’t display any infantile like behaviours and were tested positive were newly virus bonded mother’s, something Reina hoped she wouldn’t become.
“What’s going to be done with those who are going to get younger?” She asks as the nurse sorts the blood samples.
She already knew the answer, her mother had become infected a few days ago and was getting younger at a rapid rate. Seeing her mother turning into an infant was shocking for her to say the least, and even more seeing her dad becoming her mother’s virus bonded mother.
The virus was random in who it infected, but was found to infect those who were physically close to someone who was getting younger, the percentage for that was found to be close to ninety nine percent of the infection rate.
“They’ll be cared for while we ascertain who their virus bonded mothers are” The nurse replies as she works.
“I hope I’m not one of them” Getting up from the chair, Reina heads out of the medical room and walks part the others who are waiting to get their blood extracted.
“I would rather be a child than be a mother again”
After work is over for the day, Reina stops by a couple of shops to get something to eat on her way to the bus station. As she shops she over hears a couple of women gossiping:
“Did you hear that the virus hit one of the fish factories?”
“Aye, who do you think’s been infected?”
“Nae idea” They talk some more but Reina tunes them out, finishes her shopping and heads for the bus station. She wasn’t in the mood for gossip and she didn’t want to spend any time speculating on who may have been infected on both sides of the coin.
On the way back to Sandhaven she tunes out the sounds of young children due to the pain in her heart as she hears them and once back in the village, she heads for her small but cosy enough home close to St. Magnus Road, her head down the whole time.
Once inside she locks the door firmly and heads through to the kitchen where she unpacks her shopping and puts it away, once done she strips her work clothes off and shoves them in the washing machine before going through to her bedroom and slipping some clothes on.
After returning to the kitchen and starting the washing machine, Reina heads through to her living room, curls up in her recliner and bursts into tears after reaching for a picture with a baby girl on it.
No one hears her heart breaking sobs.
In Fraserburgh hospital, Andrew opens his eyes to see a nurse filling out some paperwork close by. His body feels awkward to him and it takes him a moment to regain use of his arms and legs, and he notices that he has a thick undergarment on – a thick adult sized diaper, or nappy as the British tended to call them.
“Excuse me?” He asks softly, his voice sounding strained. “What happened to me?” The nurse looks over to him from where she’s working, smiles and walks over to where he’s lying down on a gurney.
“Don’t try to move too much, the virus tends to weaken the people it infects in the first mental change. We had to strap you down so that you wouldn’t hurt yourself during the mental change” Feeling the straps being removed, Andrew flexes his fingers and notices that aside from his change in underwear, his clothes seem to be reduced to a t-shirt and socks.
“What happened? Last thing I remember was looking at the woman sitting next to me then my brain felt all fuzzy, and then I woke up here” The nurse smiles again and sits down beside the gurney before replying.
“You and several others were infected by the change virus, as it’s being called. The first symptoms for those who will return to being young children is a sudden mental reversion to an infantile stage, this can last for up to six hours or so, sometimes less, sometimes more. We’ve been taking care of you and the others who were infected and blood tests are under way of those who were close to each of you when it happened in case any of them are your virus bonded mothers” Andrew sits up on the gurney and tries not to pay attention to the crinkling sounds of his new underwear. This wasn’t where he had expected to be so soon, he had seen this happen to a few of his friends and a former girlfriend who he had been on a date with at the time.
He had gone to the bathroom for a moment and when he returned he found his date sitting on the ground with a wet puddle underneath her where she had wet herself while a foot was in her mouth, someone who had been close to her at the time the virus had hit her had become her virus bonded mother.
They stayed together for another week until she suggested, during one of her adult moments, that it would be best for them to not see one another again since she was becoming younger at a rapid rate and she didn’t want him to be hurt as she returned to infancy.
The last time he saw her was a couple of days before he left for Scotland, she was fifteen again and was playing in the front garden, her virus bonded mother close by. She hadn’t recognised him due to how young she was mentally at the time.
“I knew I was likely to be infected, but not this soon. So what happens now? Do I just lay here and wait to see a doctor?” He didn’t mean to sound rude, but he was nervous about not having a virus bonded mother, he had seen once before the effects of someone who was infected not being able to find her virus bonded mother, it hadn’t been pretty. Without the breast milk from their virus bonded mother to keep their mental regression from completely consuming them, they effectively became little more than babies in bodies that were taking too long to match their new ages, leaving them fully helpless.
After seeing that happen to a former high school quarterback was one time too many for his tastes, as well as a former head cheerleader.
“One of the doctor’s will be here soon, it is felt to be best for those infected to stay at the hospital for now while we locate their virus bonded mothers, we can’t risk any of you being harmed when another mental change strikes” Accepting this fact with a resigned sigh, Andrew waits for the doctor and wonders how he’ll be able to explain this to his sisters, and with luck his parents if they’re adult enough mentally to talk.
This hadn’t been what he had intended for his life.
The sun had set an hour ago but she didn’t care, even with her fear of the dark she didn’t care. She only sat here curled up in her recliner, the framed picture gripped tightly in her hands, cradled in her arms.
If this were some scene in a movie there would probably be cheesy music intended to evoke emotion from it’s viewers, but this is not a movie. No music plays in the background, no sounds other than the sound of the fridge in the kitchen, the washing machine and Reina’s soft crying, and the sound of a clock ticking and tocking away to itself.
A sudden loud sound makes her jump, a home phone close by, and she jumps up from the recliner and rushes over to it before it stops ringing.
“Hello?” She asks quietly, her voice raw from her crying. She nods as she listens to the person on the other end.
“I’ll be right there” She replies before hanging up then picking up the receiver again and dialling in a number.
“Hi Annie, I know you’re probably busy, but could you give me a lift in to the hospital? I’ve just been called and asked to go in, aye, ten minutes is fine. Is that mum babbling in the background? I’ll drop by tomorrow after work, just really need a lift in since I don’t know if there’s a bus soon enough. Thank you, see you in ten then” Hanging up, Reina heads through to her bedroom after closing the curtains and switching the lights on and slips her shoes back on.
As she gets ready to head back out, she hopes that the news isn’t what she is dreading it is. She looks over to the discarded picture frame on the recliner then over to a soft toy that hasn’t been hugged in several years.
She wanted to ignore her gut feeling, but it only got stronger as she tried to push it away. If her gut feeling was right then that soft toy would have a new owner.
With her sister waiting outside to give her a life back, Reina enters the hospital and heads for the reception desk. Winkling her nose at the various scents of disinfectant and other scents, a few she didn’t want to know due to how pungent they were and which meant some infected were nearby and undergoing a mental change at that time, she approaches the desk.
“Aye?” A nurse at the desk asks as Reina stops at it.
“Reina Beaumont to see a doctor, I was called about ten minutes ago or so, I was asked to come in to find out the results of the blood test” The nurse checks on her computer monitor in front of her then nods and points over to an office.
“Just go through, she’s waiting for you” Reina nods and thanks her, she didn’t envy their jobs. This virus was keeping every hospital around the world busy. Going over to the office she was pointed towards, Reina knocks on the door out of habit and enters once she hears a voice asking her to come in.
Entering she sees the man from work, Andrew if she recalled correctly, he was in a hospital gown and she saw a slight peek of what looked like an adult nappy. He was infected for sure.
“Sit down please, Miss Beaumont” The doctor asks, a young in her late thirties or so with dark blonde hair, an average waist and build and a face that looks younger than her years and has been Reina’s main doctor for the past five years.
Taking the closest seat to the doctor, this ends up giving her a view of Andrew’s nappy, which causes Andrew to blush and try to hide his new underwear, Reina waits for the doctor to speak while hoping that the news is good, instead of what she’s dreading.
“Miss Beaumont, I understand that after what happened several years ago that you do not wish to hear this news-“
“Please no, please, I’m not ready for this, I can’t do this! It’s barely been six years! Please, don’t let this be happening!Reina forces her mind to be calm even though her panic is rising.
“-But the blood tests are positive, you have the virus. It shows that you are now a virus bonded mother. Your blood was matched with Mr. Parker here and the results were conclusive, you are now his virus bonded mother. I know you didn’t want to hear this, especially after the last time we talked” Andrew shifts in his chair, his eyes looking down at his lap. He clearly hadn’t wanted this either.
“Run the tests again” Reina whispers.
“Miss Beaumont, we ran the tests four times. They are accurate, I’m sorry” Fingers clench tightly and images of the one she had lost rush through her mind, this wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be happening, not so soon, not when the wounds were still so raw.
“No, this is wrong, it can’t be happening like this, not so soon after…after…I can’t be a mother again! I’m not ready for it, I can barely go into her room without breaking down in tears! I CAN’T BE A FUCKING MOTHER AGAIN WHEN I CAN BARELY FEEL ANYTHING BUT GRIEF!” Reina looks over to Andrew, rage in her eyes for him despite none of this being his fault.
“Why did you have to come here? Why did you have to become infected and be so bloody close to me when you were? Why couldn’t you have taken the hint and sat somewhere else? I don’t fucking know you and quite frankly I don’t want to fucking know you, but I don’t have any choice in the matter now, so thank you very fucking much! It’s true what they bloody say, you Americans have bloody rotten timing!” Getting up angrily, Reina storms out of the office leaving Andrew to watch her leave, actual pain in his eyes from her words, she hadn’t looked just angry, she had looked like she was on the verge of tears despite her anger.
“She’s right” He says quietly. “I really screwed up” He looks over to the doctor just as his mind begins to feel fuzzy again, the last he remembers is the doctor quickly getting up from the desk and moving towards him quickly.
Storming outside, Reina ignores the biting cold of the night air as she screams into the night.
She didn’t want this, not so soon after her loss.
“Reina?” Lashing out without thinking, Reina feels her fist impact with the wall just as her younger sister, Annie, narrowly avoids being hit.
“Hey! No hitting the baby sister!” Forcing herself to control her anger, Reina leans back against the wall and slides down to the ground, tears pushing themselves out before she can stop them.
“I can’t do this, I just can’t do this! How can I be a mother again when I can’t bring myself to love my new daughter like I loved her? This has got to be some sick joke!” Sitting down beside her sister and wrapping an arm around her, Annie holds her sister close, knowing the grief that her sister is going through.
She didn’t need to ask what Reina had found out, she already knew without needing to guess. Her sister was now a virus bonded mother, just as she was to Rena.
Baby steps in adult shoes:
The next day after Andrew has spent some time in hospital in order to be supervised, due to Reina’s reaction to the blood tests being positive, Reina returns to the hospital as required while Andrew undergoes an examination.
After her outburst and being comforted by her sister, Reina had gone back home, had a small supper and cried herself to sleep. She knew she couldn’t run away from this since she knew what happened to those who became younger without the care of their virus bonded mother and although she didn’t know Andrew and didn’t care to know him, she knew that she couldn’t be that cruel to him.
So despite her objections to her unwanted new motherhood, Reina forces herself to hold it together and accept what she now has to do.
“The nursery is big enough to fit in an adult sized single bed?” The nurse asks, Reina nodding in reply. “Excellent, Mr. Parker has given permission for his belongings to be retrieved from his flat, will you be fine with them being delivered to your house later today?” Another nod.
Her sleep had been wracked with dreams of her loss, nightmares of the past and her deep sorrow. When she had woken up she had cried again, resisting cradling the neglected soft toy for fear of damaging it. Her new daughter might like it, even though Andrew wasn’t female yet but he soon would be within by the end of the week, and she wanted to ensure that she would have everything she required.
Even if her new mother was finding it hard to feel anything for her, anything but despair and doubt.
“Miss Beaumont?” Reina shakes herself out of her thoughts and focuses.
“Aye? I’m listening” The thought of someone using the nursery repulsed her, she didn’t want it to be used, she wanted it to be left untouched. But there was no other room in the house that would be fine for Andrew, he needed to be supported as his body began it’s return to infancy and she was all he had, no matter her personal feelings on the matter.
But the thought of him, no her since the him wasn’t going to be around much longer due to how quickly the virus changes the male genetics and body into a female one as well as altering the mind in points to a much more feminine one as part of removing all traces of the male, being in that room, being in need of so much care as she was returned to a blank slate, it repulsed her beyond words.
“The doctor told me about your loss, I know this is hard on you but she needs you now. I still remember the night you came in here when you-when-I remember and I remember your cries and screams at what had been done to her. You practically collapsed mentally that night and barely recovered in time days later, I am still sorry for your loss, but maybe you can have another chance now. That love you had for her is still inside you just waiting to come out, give that love to your new daughter, she’ll need it and so will you” The memories of that night ran through Reina’s mind and she tries to shove them away into a dark place, she didn’t want to see them, not again.
“She isn’t her” Reina whispers.
“It wasn’t like I asked to be infected!” Andrew replies to his older sister on the other end of the phone while Reina is sorting out the arrangements. “I didn’t intend on staying here for the rest of my life, but I am and I can’t just push the virus away and come home, you know I can’t do that, not if I’m to regress well. I’ll ask her, if she’ll listen to me. She isn’t fond of me for some reason, I don’t know the exact details, she just seems to hate men for some reason. She won’t harm me, she doesn’t seem to be like that, she just seems to have a kind of distrust or something about males, yes I’ll be careful, well as careful as the virus will allow me to be. I’ll ask her, I promise. Tell mum and dad that I love them, yes, I love you and Colleen as well. Take care of yourselves, look after mom and dad. Hope to see you all soon, even if it’s for the last time. Got to go, talk to you soon” The call ends and Andrew sits back, trying not to sigh from the comfort of his thick underwear. He had to wear them full time now due to the way the virus had already weakened his bladder control.
At least his new underwear was comfortable so that was something at least.
After Reina’s outburst last night, Andrew had woken up in a hospital bed with no memory as to how he gotten there, he was told that he had suffer another mental reversion. After a diaper change and being tucked in, he fell asleep.
After waking up and receiving another diaper change, he asked if he could call his family back in America. He paid for the call and explained what had happened to his older sister, who had been surprised to say the least. He explained his new mother’s outburst and anger towards him while his older sister updated him on their parent’s continuing regression, they were rapidly regressing and it wouldn’t be long before they were teenagers again.
Everything was happening so quickly for everyone and there was never any time to adjust, the virus was striking so quickly all around the world.
“Mr. Parker?” Andrew looks up to see a nurse entering with Reina, he didn’t know her name yet other than she was called Miss Beaumont. He wondered if she was going to yell at him again.
“Miss Beaumont, the travel arrangements will be complete shortly, you should take the time to get to know your new daughter” Reina only nods, her eyes fixed on Andrew, dark brown eyes that are filled with sorrow. Leaving them alone, the nurse leaves the room and Reina pulls a chair to the side of the bed and sits down.
“I’m sorry that this has happened” Andrew says quietly, Reina only sighs and looks away for a moment before speaking.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you, I’ve been rude and harsh and you haven’t deserved it. You didn’t cause any of this and I shouldn’t have blamed you, I was just unable to take the news” Andrew smiles a little, she sounded so different when she wasn’t so cold towards him.
“I guess you have a female name sorted out for me to call you by? All the legal aspects have to be done soon and I would prefer if you were still adult enough to pick your name and help with getting the paperwork done. It’s been a while since I signed a…a birth certificate” Reina pushes up off the chair and walks over to a window that looks out on the street outside, it’s raining once again and she can see people rushing to get out of the rain. Rain, rain, go away, go and pester someone else for the rest of the day.
“I haven’t given it much thought, I had hoped that the virus would pass me by, at least for a while, but I guess I was having too high a hope. What name do you have in mind?” Reina doesn’t reply at first and Andrew wonders if she’s going to yell at him again, instead she turns to him.
“I had a daughter once, almost six years ago. Cutest little angel, but then a mother would say that. She was so precious to me and I would have done anything for her, anything to give her a happy life. She was the product of rape, a vile man drugged me during a party for a friend and he raped me. He bragged about it to his friends who considered him to be a hero because he had forced himself on me, manly pride and all that bull shit. He even taped the entire thing and sent me a copy. The police charged him but he wasn’t jailed for his crimes, instead I was accused of having allowed him to have his way with me and the charges were dropped. I found out that I was pregnant a couple of months later and at first I considered having an abortion because I didn’t want to face being a mother to a child who was conceived from rape. But when I felt a tiny flutter from her while I was away to make the appointment, the most tiniest flutter, I decided to bring her to full term” Reina returns her focus to the world outside before resuming.
“I gave birth to her, eight pounds, four ounces. She was beautiful and I loved her from the very first second that I held her in my arms and to my breast, I would have given her the world if I could. From that moment on I dedicated my life to her future, I endured the sleepless nights, the dirty nappies, the emotional strain of caring for a new born. I loved her deeply” Reina sighs sadly and returns to the chair, once seated she again resumes.
“When she was just seven months old, her father learned that he was a father and he visited me. He demanded to see her and I told him to leave, he wouldn’t listen and he forced himself into the house. I ran for the phone to call the police and he ripped the phone from the wall, he charged into the nursery where my daughter was sleeping and he lifted her from her crib, she woke up and started to cry for me, she was terrified. I tried to take her from him, I tried so hard but I couldn’t stop him…I couldn’t…he…he snapped her neck in front of my eyes and threw her body at me, she bounced off me and landed on the floor, her head going into an unnatural position as she landed. She wasn’t crying, but I was. I cried and screamed in horror at what he had done, he stormed out of the house after saying that he didn’t want any child of his to live. I practically ran to the hospital with my daughter’s body in my arms, I willed her to come back to life, I would have given my life for hers if I could, but it was too late” Fighting back her tears, Reina resumes as the memories consume her.
“I was told that I collapsed in tears when I arrived at the hospital, I was exhausted and in a lot of pain, I screamed for them to help my daughter. I passed out then and woke a few days later, I had suffered an emotional and mental breakdown from the grief of my daughter’s death. At her funeral her father attended and laughed about the death of a beautiful baby girl who had been robbed of her life, the bastard had violated me and then murdered the only good thing he ever gave me. After her funeral he was arrested, tried and imprisoned for first degree murder, he was let out for good behaviour two weeks ago and he bragged about what he had done. That was before the virus got him, I watched it happen. He was outside my house taunting me when he suddenly seemed to blank out and wet himself, then messed himself before plopping down on his filthy backside and babbling. One of his friends became his new mother. I saw him again recently, or should I say her. She recognised me and for the first time ever she was terrified of me since I stood over her now, taller, older, stronger and she cried and wet herself, I finally got the upper hand on her and all it took was nature playing the role of karma. But his return to infancy doesn’t bring back my daughter, it doesn’t reverse what he did to me and what he did to my beautiful daughter” Andrew resists reaching out to her, for fear of her reacting badly, so he continues to listen.
“And now here I am, a mother again. Only I didn’t give birth to you, I don’t even know you other than your name and where you’re from. I have a daughter again and she’s being made from a man, only not from his sperm, but from his entire body. I should be happy but I’m not, I’m terrified that you’ll end up as my daughter did. I’m terrified that some man is going to murder you since many men are blaming women for this virus, they’re scared and looking for someone to blame for something that has appeared out of nowhere. I could just walk out of this hospital and not look back, but then that would make me as bad as the asshole who took so much of my happiness from me. I can’t abandon you even if my sorrow tells me to walk away” Another sigh comes from her while the sound of someone undergoing a mental regression can be heard just down the hall, they were either hungry, wet or needing comforting.
“What was your daughter’s name?” Andrew asks quietly.
“Karen, Karen Linla Beaumont” Reina replies, she wipes at her eyes and forces herself to control her emotions.
“Then if you want, if it isn’t a problem, you could name me Karen. I know I’m not her, but I need you to help me since I have no choice but to rely on you. If you don’t want to name me that then don’t, I understand, but if it helps you, then you can name me after her in her memory. I can never replace her and I wouldn’t even dare to think of doing such a thing, but if you want to then you can give her a new life in me” Reina doesn’t say anything for several minutes, she only looks down at her hands. No other sound can be heard during this time, it is as if the world has fallen away.
“You can never replace her, that’s true” Reina whispers after a time. “But maybe I can give her the love I gave her, it will take me time, but maybe you can give Karen a new life. So very well, Andrew, your new name will be Karen. I’ll get the papers signed, you’ll have to sign as well before your next mental change which could be at any time. I’ll be right back...Karen” Reaching out to him, Reina takes Andrew’s closest hand and squeezes gently, Andrew, now Karen, smiling at her.
“Okay, mum, I’ll be here”
In memory of an angel now a dreamer:
A month ago Andrew, now Karen, would have never imagined that he, or rather she, would be standing in front of a mirror dressed in just a bra and diaper, she was slowly getting used to her diapers being called nappies although it was taking time to adjust to the British terms for many things that she considered to have different terms.
The first week after moving into her new home with her new mother, Reina, had gone by quickly. Two days after infection she had noticed that her male frame was changing rapidly into a more feminine one, her manhood was shrinking at a quick pace and her breasts were developing at the same quick pace, it was as if she was changing by the hour.
At the end of the first week all traces of Andrew were gone, replaced with a young woman in her late teens called Karen. There had been next to no pain during the changes, which had been noted for many males infected with the virus. Due to her need for the diapers then she never wore female underwear between her legs, but she now wore bras which were taking time to get used to.
There were also the mental changes as all aspects of the male faded away and were replaced with a young woman who to all intents and purposes had always existed. On the final day of the first week, Andrew ceased to exist in full.
“Mum, I need some help with this please! It’s not clasping together very well!” To Reina’s surprise, Andrew, or rather Karen as it were, had quickly come to calling her mum and regarding her as her mother with no problems. Not that she minded, it was just a surprise to suddenly have a 20 year old daughter who was beginning to show signs of becoming physically younger.
“Hang on, be right there. Remind me to put a second mirror in here so that you can see the bra clasp” Reina calls out from the hall way. Muffling a curse, and not noticing that her age has decreased by a week, Karen fumbles with the clasp and finally feels it connect.
“At last! Whoever felt that bras should be so fiddly needs a good clout around the head with a metal chair a few thousand times then made to wear the most awkward to put on bra they can find” Another week disappears from her age, not that she notices. She never notices her increasingly age decrease, no one who gets younger does since their mind changes slightly to accept it.
The only person to notice is the virus bonded mother.
“Managed?” Reina asks as she enters her daughter’s room, the room itself still a nursery that is waiting for a young child while having a more grown up bed just right for one person. Karen understood why the crib, nappies and more were in her room, they were hers and she knew that she used to be male and is getting younger due to a virus.
“Aye…mum, I think something’s changed. When I was getting dressed I had different words in my mind, all from my old life as an American male. But now I’ve got all these other words in my mind, all Scottish and instead of a small voice saying I’m male, that small voice keeps saying that I’m female now and that I was born in this country. It’s very confusing” Reina hands her daughter a top before checking her daughter’s nappy.
“I know, dear, I know. It’s happening to everyone else who’s going through this, the virus seems to create a new set of memories while overwriting the older memories. Before long the virus bond will be even stronger and you won’t remember your own old life, so I think it might be best to call your sister’s, let them know that it’s not looking likely that you’ll be able to see them now. You won’t recognise them and they won’t recognise you either, you’ve changed so much in a week” Karen nods reluctantly, her mum was right. Those who became younger, especially the males who became female, changed in so many ways that unless their virus bonded mother was their biological mother then they wouldn’t be able to recognise their former family, or even be related to them by blood.
No one knew why the virus did this, it only did it well.
“I better do that now then, it’s getting really hard to remember that life. I get flashes of memory but they’re really hazy, I keep remembering another life instead, a life here with you as my mum in full” Satisfied that her daughter doesn’t need a change at this time, Reina gives her daughter permission to make the long distance phone call that was looking to be her final one.
As Reina cleans up after Karen, Karen forces herself to remember her old family’s phone number, thankfully they’re in.
“Hi, Colleen, it’s me, Andrew…well Karen now, aye it is me. What do you mean I sound different? Of course I’m different, I’m a girl now! Yes, I really am, I just had a hell of a time getting a bra on! Please, this could be my final call, the virus is changing my memories and I don’t think I’ll remember any of you soon. I know it sounds like I’m going to be dead, in a sense I don’t even exist as Andrew anymore. Please, let me say goodbye. Please don’t cry, please, we knew this was going to happen, yes, I know it’s hard to say goodbye. But it would be better for me to do this now while I can still remember you” Feeling tears form, Karen tries to focus as her memories continue to change while her former memories begin to fade away even faster.
“They don’t remember either of us now, do they? They’re too young to remember us, I miss them and I miss you and Jackie. Is Jackie there? Hi Jackie, it’s that time, the final call. I know, I should have stayed but I really wanted to see Scotland, I didn’t expect to become infected while I was here. I know, I know! I should have listened to you. It’s getting harder to remember all of you, I don’t know how much longer I can be on the phone for before the last of the memories fade away. I love you both, and I love mum and dad, yes I said mum, it’s like I’ve always lived here, like I was born here. I know that doesn’t make any sense, I don’t claim to understand why the virus does what it does” More memories fade away and Karen focuses harder, she wanted to do this, she needed to.
“It’s happening, it’s like the old life was a dream. Please don’t cry, please, this is the last time that we’ll ever get to talk” For a brief second Karen forgets why she’s on the phone, then the final memories return for the last time.
“I have to go now, I’m forgetting you and it hurts to say goodbye. I love you both, please give mum and dad a hug for me, tell them that Andrew loved them deeply. Please tell them, please. Goodbye, be happy, both of you. I love you” Then Andrew fades away for the final time and Karen stands there with the receiver in her hand, confused.
“I must have gotten the wrong number, I’m very sorry, thank you, bye” Hanging up and still confused, Karen goes through to her bedroom where Reina is still cleaning up.
“Did you manage to say goodbye?” She asks and Karen looks at her, confused.
“Who to?” Karen asks and Reina stops what she’s doing, goes over to her daughter and wraps her arms around her.
“To your family, dear, to your family” She whispers as Karen begins to babble, her mental change kicking in for the second time in the day.
To go down to a new dream:
The end of the first week meant that Reina was now breastfeeding, which she found out during Karen’s third mental change after the second one when she had said goodbye to her family.
It had been strange, and awkward, to say the least to have a young woman suckling at her breast, but with the way the virus would increase the physical strength of virus bonded mother’s so that they can lift, cradle and hold their new daughter’s without much effort then she managed to get comfortable with practice.
The second week passed and Karen’s age dropped down to around ten years old physically, her mental regressions were happening more often and she was rarely ever of a more grown up mental age for longer than an hour or two a day.
As she cared for her new daughter and found herself actually feeling pure maternal love for the child who needed her and relied on her so much, Reina found herself wondering if this was maybe fate giving her a second chance at motherhood, she truly loved her new daughter and she was very protective of her.
After the second week had passed and more cases of infections were reported, Reina took her daughter out to a local park after the weather cleared up enough. It was strange to watch her now nine year old daughter running around happily in her brief time of non-infantile mentality, her nappy showing itself often as she ran, hopped and skipped happily.
She spotted other virus bonded mothers who were taking the time to enjoy the mild weather and their daughter’s were all at different stages of regression, some were adults, some in their late teens, some younger and some well into their childhoods, one or two were entering their toddler years.
It was so strange to see how much the virus had changed the world in such a short time.
The third week passed and Karen was now five years old, her regression was slowing. The final two weeks would have her return to infancy like it did to so many others. She had no memories at all of her former life as Andrew, she was forgetting things quickly and her muscle control was decreasing with each hour, her nappy changes were becoming more than wet nappies.
Even her features were looking more like Reina in areas than they did Andrew, as if her genetics are being altered at the molecular level. Research on the virus explained that this was being noticed with virus bonded children and their mother’s, the child would begin to be bonded by genetics and blood to their new mother over the course of their regression, essentially creating a new life while erasing the old one.
Why it did this was beyond anyone’s guess, but it was clearly just one of many changes for the now largely and mostly female human race.
The final week nears it’s end and Karen, now barely 19 months old and just barely able to speak, is cradling with her mother.
“Sweepy, mummy” Karen whispers tiredly as she nuzzles against her mother’s breast after a feeding.
“Then go ahead and sleep, sweetie” Reina whispers in reply as she cradles her daughter lovingly.
“Sleep and dream of comfort and being loved” Karen yawns and a tiny hand rubs at tiny eyes before they close and she falls into a comfortable, dream filled sleep.
“Sleep, my precious angel, mummy’s here and will always do all she can for you” Reina whispers to her sleeping daughter.
As the sun rises on a new day, Karen Linla Beaumont, six months old, opens her eyes and gurgles with happy innocence. A tiny hand touches a soft toy who’s previous owner had once cuddled and enjoyed chewing on when she was alive, the toy flops down within reach and the happy infant cuddles it, chewing on an ear.
Today was the start of a new day, not that the happy infant in the crib understands that due to her very young age.
But today was the start of her new life in full, a life that had previously been taken.
And the world changes onwards.